It is often said that Japanese people care too much about other people, but what do you think about your own human relations?
Even if you think you are who you are and you are going your own way, you tend to get shocked and feel discouraged when you are belittled by someone.
A spiritual writer Aletheia Luna will tell us how to overcome these distresses.
Please look back on your own emotions and put her advice into practice.
I wish more and more people enjoy an active life with their usual selves.
Biologically speaking, caring what other people think of us has helped us to grow, evolve and stay alive as a species.
Not only that, but caring what other people think can also be beneficial. When you are receptive towards a person’s thoughts and feelings, you learn a lot about yourself and also the other person.
But first, I also want to say this:
Caring what people think of you is not the same as letting it rule your life.
In other words, there is a difference between caring what other’s think and permitting it to dominate you.
When we allow other people’s opinions and beliefs to control our lives, we become trapped. We feel pressured by our own insecurity to live up to other’s expectations. We become self-denying people-pleasers. Consequently, we feel unfulfilled and bitter towards ourselves and others.
But you don’t have to feel this way.
And yes, you CAN care what people think about you and NOT let it ruin your life.
Here’s how:
1） LOOK FOR THE LESSON.
So your siblings scoff at your dreams. What is the lesson to be learned here? Instead of blindly reacting to what they say, notice how you feel. Belittled, angry, embarrassed? Perhaps the lesson to be learned here is that feeling offended is OK, but you can still move on. Or the lesson may be that your siblings feel threatened by your happiness because they are unhappy themselves.
Sometimes other people are genuinely trying to help us. Here’s an example: You’re ready to go to a job interview. Your mother comments how slutty your dress looks. While her comment may have come across as harsh, in reality she may have been trying to prevent you from messing up a great opportunity.
Remember that what people think about you is often a reflection of them, but not always. So pay attention. Look for the lesson.
2）PEOPLE ARE MORE OBSESSED WITH THEMSELVES THAN THEY ARE WITH YOU.
It’s quite simple: people don’t care about you as much as you think they do! People don’t really care: they’re just curious. This could either be a reason to mourn, or a reason to celebrate. I prefer to think of it as a positive because it reminds you of the tremendous freedom you have.
You got a degree? Good job. Nobody cares.
You’re getting engaged? How exciting! Nobody cares.
What’s that? You’re polyamorous? Nobody cares.
The truth is that it’s rare for a person to be more interested in you than they are in themselves. Our egos love to think that we are the center of the universe. This is at the very root of paranoia. But in reality we aren’t.
